Leave Beyoncé’s Uterus Alone

Yesterday, Beyoncé announced that she was having twins. Yay!

A few years ago, Beyoncé revealed that she suffered a miscarriage before the birth of her daughter Blue Ivy. Rumors that Blue was born from a surrogate have been revived and revised to include her new progeny. Whether she did or did not is not my business. This isn’t really about her. This is about consideration. This is about being thoughtful. This is about compassion. This is about empathy.

As a child, you think you will just be able to grow up and be a mom. As a teenager, you realize you don’t have to be a “grownup” to be a mom. As an adult, you realize you may have grown up but the journey to being a mom is not always or often simple.

In the last few years, I’ve learned a lot through friends’ infertility, child loss, and other less talked about journeys of motherhood. From those who have difficulty conceiving, to those whose hopes are repeatedly dashed by a difficulty carrying to term. From heartbreaking miscarriages before 20 weeks to devastating stillbirth after 20 weeks. From costly yet still unsuccessful medical treatments, to medically necessary termination. These women were my friends, family, coworkers, sorority sisters, and neighbors. And they are yours too. I will not try to speak for these women, but friendship and compassion compel me to speak up for them.

I’m most surprised and dismayed by the jokes from the woke crowd. I have a firm “Your body, your business” stance on reproductive organs, and all other body parts for that matter. On a fundamental level, the government should not have a say in what a woman does with her uterus. Similarly, we should not have anything to say about what a woman does with her uterus. You don’t have to agree with me about reproductive rights, but can you at least agree to think twice before posting your tired and obviously fake pregnancy announcement on April Fool’s Day?

Don’t get me wrong- I love to laugh. Joy is a lifeblood that’s keep us all going. You should absolutely joke and jest with your friends- in person and online. But if your laughter reinforces someone else’s pain, it’s not a pun, it’s a put-down.

To any woman feeling a little sting from the jokes and speculation about Beyonce’s infertility: I see you, and I’m sorry. To any woman reminded of Beyonce’s child loss and your own: I see you, and I’m sorry. To anybody who considers themselves feminist/womanist/woke/whatever, but made one of those jokes: I see you, YOU’RE THOUGHTLESS, and as Bey said- I aint sorry.