2017: Productivity through Frog Proverbs

I do not like lizards. Unfortunately, South Florida is swarming with them. There are: the regular degular schemgular backyard lizards (with and without the pink thing- you know what I’m talking about!); big Bahamian lizards, which have curly tails; tiny little geckos that blend in with the walls until you notice their beady little eyes watching you hunt for your keys; and massive, Pomeranian sized iguanas that sit in the middle of the sidewalk looking like they want to devour you even though they just eat foliage.

Before moving to South Florida, frogs were at the top of my creepiest creatures list. When I was first driving on a learner’s permit, I convinced my dad to take me out for a quick lesson after Thanksgiving. When we walked out to his truck, I placed my right hand on the top of the cab before getting into the driver’s seat. No sooner than I could look at my arm, a little green frog jumped on wrist. I freaked out, ran a few circles around the lawn screaming bloody murder, and ran in the house. That was the second and last time my dad took me driving. The first time I ran over a tree- yes, an entire tree- in the front of our neighborhood. But that’s another story for another time.

Despite my history with frogs, a few different proverbs about the little critters describe 2017, my year of productivity. Each year, I choose a word to guide my goals and pursuits. 2015’s year of “Opportunity and Adventure” led me to Japan, Korea, Ghana, Los Angeles, San Francisco, wine country, a PhD program, and my first consulting contracts. “Purpose and Intentionality” in 2016 helped me focus, align, and begin the ongoing journey of finding my scholarly voice. The word for 2017 was Productivity, and it was certainly fitting. Here’s a monthly breakdown of my productive year, and the proverbs that got me through.

1. In January, in addition to my regular course schedule three nights a week, I started meeting with my classmates to study for our comprehensive exams. These exams test your ability to apply what you’ve learned in the program and determine whether you are ready to advance to candidacy and complete your dissertation. We met Wednesday evening for two hours, and Saturday morning for three or four hours. As a night owl, it was easy to stay late on campus on Wednesday. Saturdays were a different story. Mark Twain once wrote: Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. There were Saturdays I didn’t feel like going, Saturdays I’d rather have been on the road to see my boyfriend or family, Saturdays I just wanted to be a vegetable. Having the study group done first took some of the sting out, and gave me the rest of the weekend.
2. Most of February was spent studying. My pastor often says, It’s a poor frog who doesn’t praise it’s own pond. My pond is awesome, and really stepped up during my busy season. I sent an email to family and friends letting them know I’d be studying for my comprehensive exams largely unavailable for non-pressing issues from January – February. My sisters sent me a care package. My older sister took on some of my Maid of Honor duties for my best friend’s wedding. My best friend was understanding when I couldn’t answer every call of text about dresses or other details. My boyfriend quizzed me on the beach and at brunch during Valentine’s Day. My mom sensed I was feeling disconnected and drove down to take me to lunch. My friends called to check on me and kept conversations brief. My roommate made sure I was alive during late nights at the office. My study group kept me accountable. Thanks to my pond, the last week of February, I started the take-home portion of the exam feeling fully confident and relaxed.
   

   Some of the items in the care package from my sisters!

3. I traveled to a conference in Tampa on March 1st, turned in the take-home exam on March 2nd before returning home, and took the sit-down portionon March 3rd. I spent a week unplugged on a cruise with family, and resumed my Maid of Honor duties to plan a bridal shower and bachelorette party for the next month.
   

   Straight Outta Comps lunch and happy hour with study group members

   

   Enjoying time with family in the Bahamas

4. In April, I learned that I passed the comprehensive exam with honors. I presented at the Council for the Study f Community Colleges conference in Ft. Worth on how Black male community college students’ spirituality impacts their journey to and through the community college. We worked on the manuscript for a journal article all summer and it was accepted for publication in 2018!
   

   Presenting at the Council for the Study of Community Colleges conference in Ft. Worth

   

   With some lifelong friends and fellow bridesmaids at the bridal shower in Orlando.

5. In May, I earned the awards for Graduate Student of the Year for my department, and for the college. I submitted two proposals to the Association of Higher Education conference, and one was accepted! I also finished up my three Spring semester courses. Two of the classes- Student Development Theory and Leadership Theory- helped me learn exactly what’s meant by Zhuangzi’s quote “A frog in a well cannot discuss the ocean, because he is limited by the size of his well. A summer insect cannot discuss ice, because it knows only its own season. A narrow-minded scholar cannot discuss the Tao, because he is constrained by his teachings. Now you have come out of your banks and seen the Great Ocean. You now know your own inferiority, so it is now possible to discuss great principles with you”. So much of learning is unlearning, and having your perception challenged. The sooner we do this, the sooner we can embrace growth and progress. The month ended with my friend’s beautiful wedding weekend in Raleigh, North Carolina.
   

   The blushing bride, my best friend of 25 years

6. On June 1, I received confirmation on another publication- a book chapter on Black and Latino male community college students’ perceptions of mentoring. I really enjoyed writing this- we used lyrics from J. Cole’s 2014 Forest Hills Drive album. June also brought some contract work screening candidates for fundraising positions at an education nonprofit.
7. In July, I attended the amazing R.A.C.E. Mentoring conference in Nashville. I started teaching my first class: Student Learning and Success for incoming freshmen. I also acted as a teaching assistant for a course on Education & Philanthropy. I finished my concept paper, which is essentially an abridged Chapter 1 of the dissertation, and is used to ask faculty to sit on your committee. I have three great professors who have all been so helpful! As I finished up summer classes, I provided a qualitative analysis for the National Science Foundation grant I work on. I also took a deep dive into quantitative for the first time, and helped provide descriptive statistics of survey data.
   

   In Nashville for the RM Conference with my sorority sister, Dr. Venus Evans-Winters, an amazing scholar and advocate

   

   My summer cohort of Student Learning and Success students.

8. August brought the start of a new semester, and the last of my coursework. I completed an independent study to write Chapter 2 of the dissertation, the literature review, and an Advanced Qualitative Methods course, which helped me write Chapter 3 of the dissertation, the methodology. I also began teaching a course on Ethics and Power of Leadership in our undergraduate Leadership Studies minor. I can’t recap 2017 without referencing Pepe the frog, a cartoon that soon became a symbol of alt-right white supremacists. Teaching this class helped me learn just how easy it is to stay in your own world and have your views affirmed without ever being challenged to think of others’ experiences. It’s my hope my students walked away knowing how to self reflect, unpack their privilege, listen, strengthen their personal moral codes, and consider difference when leading others.
   

   Friends traveled from all over to witness the solar eclipse together in Tennessee.

9. In September, I helped plan and host a reception for the NSF grant. I also gave a guest lecture on HBCUs to the History & Philosophy of Higher Ed class, something I do once a semester. In my work for one of the professors, I conducted interviews of faculty, which gave me great insight as I prepared for my own pilot study.
   

   At the reception to kickoff advanceFAU, a Provost’s Office initiative supported by the National Science Foundation

10. While most months were manageable, October felt more like the Biblical plague of frogs; everywhere I turned, there was something leaping out at me that needed to be done, read, or redone. This is typically the busy season for the work I do for the department. Each semester I get between 5-7 assignments due midsemester; this semester I got 12, on top of the other work I do with professors and the Provost’s office. Somehow, I co-authored two essays to a special issue of a journal of a journal on Women, Gender, and Families of Color under Trump’s administration. They were both accepted and will be out next year! I traveled to a small dissertation workshop in Orlando that was incredibly timely. I had a chance to briefly present my dissertation topic at the workshop and the feedback was helpful as well.
    

    Talking through my research with other Holmes Scholars in Orlando

11. In November, I presented a poster at the Association for the Study of Higher Education conference in Houston, where I was able to learn, network, and get lots of new ideas. I also got a chance to be a “human book” at FAU’s annual Human Library event. Finally, I cowrote a blog post for The Education Trust’s series on outcomes based funding and equity.
    

    Presenting at the Association for the Study of Higher Education Conference in Houston

    

    In flight productivity: study, read, or recover

    

    At FAU’s Human Library event. My title was “Historically Black: Living Our Truths and Learning My Way Through”

On December 1st, I presented the first drafts of Chapters 1-3 to my chair. We discussed feedback a few weeks later, and I’m working towards a second draft when school is back in. I also submitted a few applications for two fellowships and two conferences.  There’s a parable about a frog in on a pot. If you place a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will sense the danger and leap out immediately. If you place a frog in a pot of cool or lukewarm water and increase the temperature, the frog will gradually increase its own body temperature until it dies.  A useful skill can become a Achilles Heel. Frogs adjust so well to increased temperatures, they lose sense of danger. Doctoral students adjust so well to increased pressure, they lose their sense of self. I’ve done some work for professors and some work on the blog, but other than that I’ve spent most of the break intentionally out of the pot and largely out of the kitchen altogether. I found cheap travel arrangements to Atlanta and North Carolina to celebrate friends’ birthdays, and have been enjoying time reading for both leisure and my dissertation.

I have been on my grind this year! Academically, I attended four conferences, three conference presentations, two essays, a book chapter, a journal article, passing comprehensive exams with honors, a first draft of my proposal, passed 10 courses,  and conducted a pilot study. Professionally, I taught two courses and assisted another, gave five invited class lectures, worked on a National Science Foundation grant, worked on three different nonprofit contracts, and found a lil time to write on this blog. Personally, I squeezed in time to read a few good books, planned a bridal shower, hosted a bachelorette party, helped wrangle 10 bridesmaids through a long weekend, traveled to the Bahamas, witnessed a total solar eclipse from the path of totality, welcomed a new baby nephew, celebrated two friends’ 30th birthdays, and watched my baby sister graduate from college.

Back to back 90s themed 30th birthday parties

Were there deadlines I missed, trips I declined, friends I didn’t see, opportunities I didn’t take, nights I worked until morning, drafts that were subpar, days I wanted to cry, more I could have done? Absolutely. But I’m not done yet. With each new word of the year, I try to remember to embrace the lessons of years’ past. In my pursuit of productivity, I applied the lessons learned from last year about writing with purpose and engaging intentionally. This helped me say no, prioritize, and not feel guilty or insecure. As I head into 2018, I am feeling the words clarity and diligence, and will be sure to carry forward the lessons I’ve learned this year on planning, communicating expectations, balancing conflicting commitments, and learning with an open mind.

‘Til next year,

Kayla